PB and Jay
by Marcibel
Summary: Princess Bubblegum meets a nice prince, Jay; and she unintentionally starts dating him. After about a month into their relationship, something unexpected happens...
1. Ch 1: Unintentionally Romance

**Chapter One – "Unintentional Romance"**

Finn and Jake were walking down one of the halls of the Candy Castle with Princess Bubblegum leading the way.

"So, P.B., what did you need our help with?" Finn asked.

Bubblegum sighed. She turned around, "Finn, Jake, what I need your help with is very important. As you may recall, I am still without an heir, and after the mess with Goliad, I've decided that I should not fabricate one—on my own." They continued down the hall and a flight of stairs that led to the catacombs. They entered a large room with many colorful chemicals fizzing, popping, and bubbling. They, though, did not take up the most space; the two large machines did. The machines were white; one had clear glass plates that seemed to be meant for observing something inside from the outside. A watery liquid flowed inside it. The other machine was next to the first and was only half the size, and it had no glass plates.

"I have found a way to make a baby with my DNA using these machines, but I need the DNA of a male to complete the process."

"What about me?" Finn said.

"Finn, are saying you want to make a baby with me?" Bubblegum said while raising her eyebrow.

Finn's cheeks grew red, and he stammered, "No, P.B., I just, uh—"

Bubblegum giggled, "It's okay, Finn. I already tried your DNA, but it failed. I have no idea why."

"Why don't you make a baby naturally?" Finn asked.

"Because that form of procreation is messy and uncivil."

"But it's fun!" Finn yelled.

Jake and Princess Bubblegum slowly looked at Finn with suspicious faces. Finn's eyes darted between the two, "Or so I've heard."

Jake slowly turned back to Bubblegum, "Anyway, Princess, does it have to be anyone in particular—or a candy-person at all?"

"Well, I do have a list of genetic features I want," she walked over to the table and picked up a piece of paper, "But I don't suppose it doesn't have to be a candy-person." She walked to Jake and handed him the list. He and Finn scanned through the list.

"So, can you help me?" Princess Bubblegum said.

Jake raised his head from the list, "Yeah, P.B., we can help you."

"Oh, thank you! And please do take your time. It has to be someone special."

Finn and Jake left the palace with their new task.

"I think we should start on this as soon as possible—like tomorrow," Finn said.

"So you're okay with this?" Jake asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, finding your ex-girlfriend a mate."

"Dude, I told you: we _never_ went steady!"

"If you never went steady, then how come you were on the rebound with Flame Princess?"

"What?! I wasn't on the rebound. I've got a way with the ladies."

"No, you don't. You couldn't get any princesses to give you some of their hair to save my life!"

"I got Bubblegum's hair," Finn said calmly.

"Yeah, and even though you now have a girlfriend, you still have it!"

"Whatever, man."

Tension, married with silence, hung in the air for the remainder of the way home.

The next morning, the boys began the eliminating for Bubblegum's new mate. They knocked out many obvious choices—the Ice King being the most obvious. Cinnamon Bun was also quickly eliminated because he was too much everything other than what was on the list. They soon eliminated everyone (well, every male) that they knew.

"Ugh! There's no one that fits the features on P.B.'s list!" Finn said, despairingly throwing himself back on the floor of the tree house.

"Maybe we should try using another method," Jake suggested.

"What method?"

"Squeezing grape juice from the grapevine."

"Hey, L.S.P.," Finn greeted her while he and Jake entered the dump that was Lumpy Space Princess' camp. It was a few hours after Jake made his suggestion.

"Hey, Finn," the princess replied, "Are you here for my lumps?"

"Uh, no—"

"Good! 'Cause you'd need a ring!" L.S.P. said while holding up her ring finger.

"No, L.S.P., I need to ask you something," Finn said.

"What?"

"Do you know any nice guys that Jake and I haven't met living in Ooo?"

"Have you heard of 'the prince'?" Finn and Jake shook their heads. "Oh, my Glob, guys. I've heard he's this super-awesome, hot prince from some island kingdom. I've also heard he lives in an abandoned cottage deep in the woods."

"What's his name?" Jake asked.

"I don't know. I don't know everything, Jake," L.S.P. said with sass.

"Okay, thanks, L.S.P.," Finn said as he and Jake began to leave.

"Remember: bring me a ring, and you can have my lumps!" she yelled after Finn. Jake's stomach gave in, and Jake expelled his stomach's contents onto the forest floor.

The boys pressed on toward the deep part of the forest. The sun began to sink, and the sky changed into yellowish-orange. The sound of critters doing Glob-know-what surrounded the heroes.

"Dude, we might want to hurry," Jake worried, "This part of the forest gets dangerous at night, man." Finn did not seem to be worried, but he did unsheathe Joshua's sword.

Suddenly, a loud, demonic screech rang from a forest clearing to the heroes' east. Birds disrupted by the noise flew away to the sky. Finn and Jake ran toward the clearing with haste.

Within a minute or two, they saw the shriek's origin—a wood nymph. Wood nymphs are beautiful creatures with beady, earthly eyes that they are anything but. Typically, wood nymphs possess strong magical powers; usually, they throw explosive green orbs. Wood nymphs have skin the color of wood and the feel of bark. Their noses are cylindrical with visible rings. They have wings like a butterflies', only not as peace-loving.

The nymph held her side, which had a slice in it, and faced her opponent, a man. The man had purple skin and wore a purple-and-gold outfit, which looked luxurious and regal, yet dirty. He was handsome and held an unsheathed rapier. He stood with his unarmed hip toward the nymph.

With her empty hand, the nymph used her power to create a green orb and threw it at the man. He dodge-rolled away, and the orb exploded with a forceful green aura. He was unaffected by the impact.

"Oh, my Glob! We have to help!" Finn shrieked. He ran toward the ongoing fight, but Jake stretched out and pulled him back.

"Dude, you do not want to mess with wood nymphs!" Jake said. He glanced at the fight, "Besides, that guy can take care of himself." Finn looked over to the fight and the man, who was athletically dodging the barrage of orbs the nymph fired at him. The man then made a daring move—he pierced an orb with his rapier. Instead of detonating, the orb surprisingly let the thorny blade of the rapier slide through it. The man was careful not to detonate the orb prematurely. The nymph was caught off-guard by this stunt, and the man took advantage of it. With a skyward slice, the orb flew off the rapier and exploded in its creator's face. The nymph landed on its back, slain. Suddenly, the nymph's corpse exploded into a black mist. Finn was impressed. The man sheathed his rapier and began to walk away in the opposite direction.

Finn and Jake ran after him, shouting. Their shouting spooked the purple-skinned man, who then drew his rapier and pointed it at the guys. Finn and Jake stopped a few inches away from the tip of the blade. Upon closer inspection, they found the man to be in his twenties—around Bubblegum's age.

"Villains!" the man said loudly, "I am in no mood to fight anyone else!"

"Whoa, man," Finn said nervously, "We don't wanna fight."

"Yeah, we just wanna talk," Jake added.

The man was reluctant to put away his sword, "Fine, you shall talk."

Jake looked at Finn then back at the man, "You got a girlfriend?" The man raised his brow.

After a while, Finn and Jake were able to calm the mysterious man. The man was the prince L.S.P. spoke of, introducing himself as Prince Jay of the Jellyjam Kingdom; but he preferred to just be called Jay. He was twenty-one, exactly the age of Bubblegum. The Jellyjam Kingdom, he explained, was not part of the Ooo mainland. The kingdom controlled a small island off the coast and was not well-known inland.

"So how did you get here if you lived on an island?" Finn asked. He and Jake convinced Jay to go back to the Candy Kingdom to meet Bubblegum. They had already exited the forest, but the sun laid itself to rest while the moon and stars came out to play.

"I was sailing to the mainland alone when a storm caused my boat to capsize; I was washed ashore some time later."

"When was that?" Jake asked.

"I was washed ashore about three weeks ago. Ever since, I've been living in an abandoned cottage in the woods. I was looking for food one day when I saw a weird, floating, purple thing cooking a can of beans. Do you know about that?"

"Yeah," Finn responded, "That 'thing' is Lumpy Space Princess."

"Wait," Jay stopped walking and tried to grasp this unbelievable truth, "That thing's a chick?!"

"I'm still waiting for proof," Jake said.

"And she likes dudes?"

"I guess," Jake answered.

"What thing would want that?"

"You'd be surprised," Jake said, "You'd be surprised."

Jay's stomach roared with hunger, "Sorry, I was looking for dinner when the wood nymph attacked me."

Finn looked at Jake; Jake nodded and stretched to pick Finn and Jay up. They began to move at an accelerated rate.

"Wow!" Jay was amazed, "A magical dog!"

The trio arrived at the Candy Kingdom within minutes.

Bubblegum let Jay stay in one of the palace's guest rooms against her better judgment. When she, Finn, and Jake were alone, she scolded them, yelling, "How could you bring a _stranger_ into my palace and my kingdom?!"

"He and L.S.P. said that he was a prince," Finn said, trying to reassure the princess; Bubblegum, though, was still quite angry.

Jake leaned in, "Uh, dude, I don't think saying L.S.P. said will help your case much. You'd be better off saying dirt said it."

"I swear, if I am killed in my sleep, I'll make sure you two will be joining me to see Death!" she continued to yell. Finn and Jake looked at each other with astonished looks.

That night, Finn and Jake stood guard outside P.B.'s room. The only disturbance was Cinnamon Bun sleep-walking and sleep-talking, saying, "Lasers!"

The next day, Bubblegum held a party and a feast, formally welcoming the prince to the Candy Kingdom. The entire kingdom was in attendance, even Finn and Jake. The sweet smell of candy and candy-related foods engulfed the palace's ballroom as the food was laid out onto a long wooden table. Princess Bubblegum sat at the end with Jay to her right. Finn and Jake sat in the middle of the table.

During the party, Bubblegum sat in a seat beside Jay, "So, I heard you are from the Jellyjam Kingdom. I'm sorry, but I have never heard of it."

Jay took a sip from his goblet, "I'm not surprised."

"Where is your kingdom?"

"On an island off of the coast."

"What's your climate like?"

"It's seasonal. We have a lot of green plains and lush forest; the forests are very beautiful and colorful during the autumn months."

Bubblegum smiled, "I bet they are." She readjusted herself on her seat. "So, tell me a little about yourself."

"Like what?"

"Everything."

Then Bubblegum and Jay began sharing interests, dislikes, and ideas. They found they have a mutual love for chemistry and botany. They talked for hours on end, until Bubblegum offered to take Jay to her laboratory.

"Sure," the prince said. Bubblegum grabbed Jay's hand and led him to the hallway by Finn and Jake.

"Hey, where are you going?" Finn asked.

"Oh, I'm going to show him my lab," Bubblegum replied.

"Is that a euphemism?" Jake asked. Bubblegum ignored him and went on. Finn sighed and looked at Jake, who was grinning.

"What?" Finn asked.

"Jealous?"

"Shut up."

The weeks and months passed on, evident in the young couple's relationship, which was growing and blooming quite rapidly. P.B. began to spend more time with Jay, mostly doing chemistry and botany experiments together. This left Bubblegum's first assistant—Jake's daughter Maria—feeling a little like a third wheel. Jay often romanced Bubblegum with the utmost thoughtfulness. On more than one occasion, Finn has walked in on Bubblegum and Jay gently making-out, at which point he would swiftly and quietly walk away without disturbing them or letting on to his being there. Jake caught them once, saying, "Oh, yeah! Show me watcha got!"

One day, Finn and Jake went to the palace to see Bubblegum out of pure boredom. They were walking down a hallway and saw Bubblegum and Jay. Jay kissed Bubblegum, who had some bed-head and wore a messy, wrinkled dress, and walked past Finn and Jake, greeting them along the way. Finn and Jake looked back at Bubblegum, who was smiling.

"What happened?" Jake asked.

The princess giggled, "I found out I'm messy and uncivil."

Jake laughed while Finn fainted.

A couple of weeks later, Bubblegum became worried about something and saw Dr. Ice Cream. When Finn and Jake heard, they rushed to the palace as quickly as possible. When they arrived, Bubblegum was talking to Dr. Ice Cream in the hallway. Bubblegum seemed to be depressed about something.

"P.B., what's wrong?" Finn asked, quite concerned.

Bubblegum looked at the doctor, who said, "It's up to you to tell them." She left, and Bubblegum turned to Finn and Jake.

"Finn, Jake, I'm—"Bubblegum began to weep into her hands, "I'm—pregnant!"

"What?!" Finn and Jake yelled simultaneously. Bubblegum, still crying, sat into a nearby chair.

"I don't know how this could have happened!" she continued.

"Usually a lot of wine and faulty latex manufacturing are the causes," Jake said, not taking the news as seriously as everyone else. Finn elbowed Jake in his love handle. "So," Jake continued, "you're probably not going to need that baby machine anymore, huh?" Finn slapped his friend in the back of the head.

"Don't worry, P.B., we'll make Jay do the right thing!" Finn said. "Come on, Jake." They left the crying, pregnant princess for her unborn baby's daddy.

They soon arrived at Jay's abandoned cottage. The cottage profoundly expressed its abandoned state. Wooden boards acted as windows and vine vegetation as the siding. The cottage had two stories, and smoke bellowed from the stone chimney. The grass around the cottage was as thick as the surrounding forest.

Finn and Jake walked up to the cottage's only door, and Finn knocked on the door. The hits opened a crack between the door and its frame. Finn peered inside and saw lit candles but no Jay. He opened the door and saw the room was empty. Finn and Jake looked through the house; then, a bang on the ceiling occurred. They ran upstairs to see to the source of the bang, and they saw that it was Jay. He was on the floor with a box.

"Oh, hey, guys," he greeted them.

"What are you doing?" Finn asked.

"These boxes were left here, and I am seeing what is inside. Why?"

"No, reason. Hey, P.B. wants to talk to you."

"About what?"

"It's best if you ask her that."

Bubblegum led Jay to her bedroom's balcony, for privacy. It had been a pretty dry day, but a storm head threatened it with moisture and precipitation. Bubblegum's hair flowed in the wind.

"Finn and Jake said you want to talk to me; about what?" Jay asked.

"Jay, do you remember that one day when we—you know?"

"Yeah, I'm still surprised you were into doing that, especially being a princess and a first-timer!"

"Well, a few hours ago, I found out that," a tear escaped Bubblegum's eye; and Jay noticed it, "I'm pregnant!"

Jay's eyes widened as he backed away in disbelief. Without a word, he ran out of the room and out of the palace and pass Finn and Jake. They watched him and turned around after he left to see Bubblegum running toward them, crying more than Little Lady Rainicorn when Finn did his weird experiments with the Little People.

"P.B., what's wrong?" Jake asked.

"He just ran out when I told him!"

"It's okay, Princess," Finn said, "We'll bring him back!"

The guys left for Jay's once more; but this time, Jay was not home. It seemed like Prince Jay of the Jellyjam Kingdom had completely disappeared.


	2. Ch 2: Where He Went

**Chapter Two – "Where He Went"**

Days passed, and Jay was nowhere to be found. Finn and Jake searched every possible place where Jay could be; but Finn refused to give up, even though Bubblegum already had. She never talked to anyone, even Finn and Jake, and instead spent all her time soaking her pillow with tears. No one knew of her "condition" outside of the missing father, her heroes, the loyal butler, the doctor that diagnosed her condition, and somehow a purple lumpy gossip. Finn and Jake convince L.S.P. from talking and spreading the truth. It was not until about a week after Jay's disappearance when Finn and Jake heard anything about him, from Peppermint Butler. Apparently, Peppermint Butler has a friend whom is a captain on a cargo ship and docked at a nearby harbor. He heard about a purple man looking for a captain that will take him to an island off the coast. Eventually, Jay succeeded in his search.

"Oh, Glob! We have to follow him!" Finn shouted upon hearing the news of Jay's naval departure.

"My friend, The Captain, is indebted to me. I have arranged for you two to be guests on his ship while delivering cargo to and from the Jellyjam Kingdom," the butler replied.

"How many people owe you favors?" Jake asked, even though he only half-wanted to know.

"That's something we should never get into."

The next day, Finn and Jake travelled to the harbor with luggage in tow. Upon reaching the dock, Jake stepped onto it, but Finn stopped just before placing his foot onto the dock. He stared at his horizon of the shimmered blue sea, and the salty scent of fear filled his nostrils every time he breathed. Jake turned back to Finn, muttered to himself, "Glob," then yelled to Finn, "Come on, Finn, really?" Finn did not answer. Reluctantly, Jake stretched out his luggage-free arm and coiled it around Finn. Finn was released from his trance and realized what was happening.

"Jake, what're you doing?" Finn yelled, struggling in his binds.

"Making sure you get on this ship!" Jake yelled back. He pulled his captive to him and held over his head. He then made the rest of his way to the ship.

The ship was the only one docked in the harbor. Seafaring, for hundreds of years after the Mushroom War, was virtually nonexistent. Then, for whatever reason, it became a way of travelling and shipping. Ship and shipyards were being built. Sailors and captains were employed to carry cargo and people to their destinations. Ooo's overall economy improved remarkably well. All ships, whether cargo or passenger, were made from wooden planks covering a steel skeleton. The ship Finn and Jake were boarding had three sets of cloth sails. Ropes and pulleys clotted the deck. The ship's planks were a dark gray.

Upon boarding the ship, Jake, with Finn, immediately headed to the ship's guest quarters below the deck. The below-decks had wooden walls, floors, and ceiling. Jake shut the quarter's door behind him. Finn was breathing heavily. Jake dropped his luggage and Finn. Finn sat on the floor, next to the twin-sized bed.

Jake took out an orange bottle of round azure pills form his suitcase. He offered one to Finn.

"Here, take this," he said.

Finn took the pill from Jake and inspected it.

"It's one of Lady's pills," Jake said.

"I thought she didn't take those pills, and that's why she got pregnant."

"Not those pills. This is a pill Lady takes when she can't sleep." Finn shrugged his shoulders and swallowed the pill. "Now lie down on the bed and try to relax. I'm going to go speak with the captain," Jake said before leaving. Finn did as he was told. He closed his eyes and soon became relaxed. The ship jerked suddenly, and Finn could feel it moving in a forward direction. There was a sudden creaking, separate from the other noises of the waves breaking against the ship and the ship moving through the sea. Finn got up and looked in the starboard direction, the creaking's direction. Finn gulped and lied back down. The sound returned, louder. Finn began to worry. He got up and, again, looked in the creaking's direction. The noise grew sharper. It grew so sharp it began to sound more like splintering and crackling. Then, in absolute suddenness, the walls yielded to a tidal assault. The seawater quickly filled the room, and Finn was caught in its salty clutches. He struggled, flailing to survive while yelling for Jake.

Jake opened the quarter's door to see Finn flailing on a dry bed. He ran to Finn and held him down. Finn blinked twice and lied still.

All Finn could see was darkness and, in the distance, Princess Bubblegum with some sort of oddness about her. He was confused about how he could be drowning at one moment and then standing inside this blackness, and he was then intrigued by this strange Bubblegum. He tried to walk to her; but no matter how much he moved, she never got any closer. He looked at her carefully and noticed she was walking toward him. Within seconds, Finn recognized her oddness—she was pregnant, eight-to-nine months. She was wearing a pink regal dress with a stretchy, purple patch over her baby-bump. She also seemed to be saying something and held out her arms to embrace Finn. Finn realized what she was saying, which was, "Hold me; hold me, my king!" Finn was disturbed by this, but he held out his arms for Bubblegum anyway. She came closer and seemed to float like a phantom in the night. She eventually came to Finn; but instead of hugging him, she passed through him. Then suddenly, Finn felt himself drop and falling, falling into a deep, dark abyss. He continued to fall for a minute or two, until he hit solid ground and knocked himself unconscious for a moment.

Eventually, Finn awoke and saw a clear blue sky with his fiery princess looking down onto him.

"Feel better, honey?" she asked with a warming smile. Finn sat up and looked around. They were on a hill in the midst of the Grass Lands with a forest to Finn's left. He looked over to Flame Princess, who was sitting on some unhurt grass and hugging her knees.

"What happened?" Finn asked her.

"You fell asleep while lying down. Don't you remember?"

"No, sorry." Finn stood up; and his hand was offered to his lady, who accepted it. They gazed passionately into each other's eyes and kissed. Something wet hit Finn's forehead. He pulled back and looked up. The once clear sky was now a gloomy gray. Rain began pouring down onto the couple. Finn looked down to his gal. She was a blazing princess no more; she was reduced to nothing more than a glob of dark reddish-orange, melting through Finn's fingers. Depression hammered Finn's heart, causing him to fall down, roll over to his side, and start crying. Eventually, he passed out, seeing nothing but a dark, deep, Marceline-impersonating blackness.

When Finn awoke, he was on his back and could feel the ship idly rocking from port to starboard to port. He heard gulls, a band of brass instruments, and much chatter. Finn rose from the floor; and the sudden movement, along with nameless pharmaceuticals and emotional confusion, caused a pounding and aching within his head. He stumbled, but that could have been from the swaying of the ship. Finn eventually made his way to the stairs leading up to the deck and ascended them. Sunlight pierced his eyes upon reaching the deck, and he had to use his right forearm for shade.

Finn looked around himself and saw that the ship was docked at a port. The locks were adjacent to the main plaza of the city. A large fountain, spewing clean blue water, was the plaza's centerpiece. To the sides of the dock were small shops where fishermen could sell their daily catches. The smell of salty sailors and frozen fish filets hung in the air surrounding the docks. The plaza's floor was made from lain cobblestone, partially eroded from the weather and massive amount of foot-traffic; and there seemed to be a lot that day. Crowds of differently-colored people walked the plaza and in and out of buildings and shops. Even though they were different colors—oranges, reds, blacks, and miscellaneous others—Finn could tell they looked somewhat similar to Jay; they were jelly-people. Jelly sailors were busy loading cargo ship, and jelly fishermen prepared themselves for their voyage. Carriages, with or without passengers, occasionally wheeled through the plaza, pulled by peach-colored jelly-horses. Finn noticed how peaceful the city seemed to be, and then he heard someone climbing onto the ship, looked over in the ramp's direction, and saw Jake.

"Hey, man, I'm glad to see you're awake! How do you feel?" Jake said.

"Hung-over, I guess. I thought you said that pill was a sleeping pill."

"I never said it was a sleeping pill."

Finn grew concerned for himself, "Then, what was it?"

"I don't know. All I do know is that it causes hallucinations and you to pass out. Lady takes it when she can't sleep, and I just can't stay there at that point."

"What?! You knew what would happen to me?!" Finn yelled.

"Hehehe, yeah, I did," Jake laughed.

Finn squinted his eyes, disappointed and angry, "How long was I out anyway?"

"About a week."

"A week?! And you never thought to wake me up?!"

"If I did, you would just start freaking out again."

"True," Finn turned to the plaza, "So, where are we anyway?"

"On the deck of a ship."

"Okay, smart-ass," Finn said as Jake giggled to himself, "What's the name of this place?"

"Preserves Port, it's the only port in the Jellyjam Kingdom, so Jay had to land here."

"Where is he anyway?"

"According to some citizens, he arrived here a couple days ago and left to the palace as quickly as he arrived."

"Palace? How do we get there, or in?"

"I have a carriage to get us there. As for getting inside the palace, I have an idea."

Finn shrugged his shoulders and followed Jake off the ship.

"Hey, Finn, what did you hallucinate about?" Jake curiously asked as he and Finn walked down the ship's ramp.

"Well, first, I thought the ship wrecked and I was drowning. Then, I dreamed about P.B. and Flame Princess."

"Together? Nice."

"Sick, dude."

The carriage pulled the heroes out of the city and onto a dusty country road. The kingdom reminded Finn and Jake of Ooo's Grass Lands, with splendid green hills (a snail was on one hill), spectacular woods, and a gentle, spring-like breeze. Jelly-people farmed cotton plants, picking the cotton and separating the seeds from the fluff. At the midpoint of the road between the port and the palace, Finn and could see the Jellyjam Palace; and it was huge! The palace was fully uncovered from the horizon even though they still had a few miles to travel to reach the town. Finn and Jake were amazed by the marvelous palace. It was a faded purple with golden trimmings. Multiples of the kingdom's flag flapped with the wind atop the palace's many steeples, beckoning the travelers.

The town was as lively as the port. People bustled themselves chaotically along the streets, which were smoothly paved.

The carriage took its passengers to the destination, the palace. Finn and Jake hopped out of the carriage, and Jake paid the driver. Gates and guards separated them from Jay. Jake approached the gate, with Finn following. A young-looking yellow jelly-person came to the gate form the other side.

"Halt! Who are you?" the guard said.

Jake looked at Finn and winked. He turned back to the guard, "We are here on the behalf of Princess Bubblegum of the Candy Kingdom."

"Wait, Princess Bubblegum, you said?" the guard asked with a transitioned mood, from suspicion into disbelief. Finn and Jake nodded. "Oh, I and everyone in the palace have heard of the Prince's dear Bon-Bon." Finn and Jake snickered at Jay's nickname for Bubblegum. "For months, the King thought Prince Jay was dead after he ran away." Finn and Jake looked at each other.

"Jay ran away from home?" Finn inquired.

"Yes," the guard replied.

"Why?" Jake asked.

"Well, originally the Prince had an arranged marriage to Princess Peanut Butter, but at the last second he called off the marriage. He and His Majesty had a heated argument about it—I was on throne duty when they fought—and the Prince stole a ship and sailed away."

Finn and Jake glanced at each other again. "So, how do you know of our princess?" Finn asked.

"Well, a little bit after we received word of his shipwreck, we began getting letters from the Prince, speaking of his life on the mainland. He said he was washed ashore, found by some heroes, and brought to a beautiful princess named Bonnibel Bubblegum. In those letters, he spoke of how he loves this princess."

Jake leaned into Finn's ear and whispered, "Yeah, he had to love her for her to get knocked up." Finn punched Jake in the arm.

"Hey," the guard said, pointing at Finn and Jake, "no secrets."

"Sorry, inside joke," Jake replied.

"Can you take us to see the prince?" Finn asked.

"I suppose I can. Jerry, cover for me!" The guard said to another guard behind him. Jerry gave a thumbs-up.

The guard led Finn and Jake to the palace doors. "Let them in—they're friends of Princess Bubblegum!" he yelled up to the guards that control the doors. The palace doors could only be opened by pulling ropes through a series of pulleys. The guards up top scrambled to open the doors after hearing Bubblegum's name.

The inside of the castle was magnificent. Tapestries and rugs were decorated to a colorful theme of purple and gold. The walls were built with smooth white stones; and the ceiling was several feet above them. The hallway in front of the doors ran parallel to them, ultimately dividing the palace into two wings: the East Wing and the West Wing. The guard led them down the East Wing, to their right, where servants passed by them, wearing purple outfits and being too busy for any kind of acknowledgement for anyone. The guard led Finn and Jake up the stairs at the end of the hall up to the second floor, down the hall, and to the first door on the right. The guard knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" a voice said from behind the door. Finn and Jake recognized the voice to be Jay's.

"Joseph, my Lord. You have visitors from the candy Kingdom," the guard said. There was a silence, then a reply.

"Send them in." The guard opened the door and let them inside. Jay was standing beside a bookshelf, wearing a purple-and-gold tunic, and holding an open book. Jake identified the book as "Mind Games." The room was a very luxurious bedroom. There were two bookcases made from redwood and filled with books, many of them about botany or chemistry or filled with stories of the macabre. The bookcases were placed side-by-side on the wall opposite to the door and next to the desk. A canopy bed, colored to the theme of the rest of the palace, sat in the corner near the bookshelves, with a lamp on a nightstand between them. A large dresser stretched from the foot of the bed to the door leading into the adjoining bathroom. A framed picture of P.B. with a rose, one exactly like the one Finn had before Flame Princess accidentally burned it when she and Finn first actually met, sat on the nightstand.

"Thank you, Joseph. You may leave us alone," Jay then looked at Finn and said, "But don't go far." Joseph nodded and left, closing the door behind him. Jay closed his book, walked over to the bookcase on the left and shelved it. "I suppose Bonnibel sent you," he said with his back to Finn and Jake.

"We came here of our own free will," Finn replied.

"Look, I know it looks like I ran out on her, but—"

"You did run out on her, and now you gotta do the right thing!" Jake yelled.

"Oh, Joseph didn't tell you? Well, I'm surprised, seeing how spongy the staff is around here. I'm going to ask my father for my mother's ring so I can ask Bonny to marry me."

Finn and Jake looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. Suddenly, there was a knocking at the door.

"Yes?" Jay said.

"His Majesty has some free time if you still want to—"

"I'll be down in a minute."

"What should we do?" Finn asked.

"Come with me," Jay said, going out the door. Finn and Jake followed Jay down the stairs, through the hallway to the West Wing, and through the first floor's first door on the right. The room they entered was enormous in all dimensions. The walls were pure white; the floor was a lavender carpet; and a large round table, decorated with purple-and-gold of course, sat in the middle of the room. A small, silky, golden rug, with matching tassels, crawled up the small set of stairs to the throne, which was mainly made of ivory with purple cushions. Sitting on the throne was a large, purple man, looking like Jay, only in his forties. He was even wearing the same outfit as Jay!

"Ah, my son, what is it you want?" the king said. He looked at Finn and Jake, "but first, who are they?"

"They are Finn and Jake, friends of Princess Bubblegum. They are here on her behalf, for me."

"Welcome, young diplomats, to our kingdom! Jay, what do you want to ask me?" His Majesty asked.

"Father, I want Mother's ring."

"What? Why?" the king asked, unsure of what was to come.

"I want to marry Princess Bubblegum," Jay said sternly, giving his father a look just as stern.

"What?!" the king yelled, rising from his throne, "How dare you disrespect me and this kingdom by not honoring your arrangement with Princess Peanut Butter and instead marrying this, this whore?!"

"Bubblegum is no whore!" Finn, Jake, and Jay all said in unison.

"Jay, I _forbid_ you from seeing this 'Princess Whore' ever again! Guards, escort Jay to his quarters and the other two outside." The guards came to them, one guard for each person, and grabbed each one by the arm and escorted them to their respective destinations.

Finn and Jake were walking down a street an hour later, discussing how to get Jay out of the palace. Then, they heard a voice shouting after them. They turned around to see Jay running up to them. He stopped when he reached them, to catch them.

"How did you get out?" Jake asked.

"I snuck out my bedroom after taking this from my father's room," Jay said, pulling out a gold ring from his pocket. Finn and Jake leaned in to inspect the ring. On the outside was an engraving that read, "Amor est in aeternum." "After climbing down my bed sheet rope, I just walked out the front gate."

"Why didn't the guards stop you?" Finn asked.

"They're all incompetent and lack the skills of communicating about things other than gossip."

"Like the Banana Guards?"

"Worse."

Jake scrunched his face, "How's that possible?"

"I don't know, but we might want to go before they do find out that I'm gone and start looking for me."

The trio grabbed a ride back to Preserves Port and their ship home.

Eight days later, Finn, Jake, and Jay finally arrived in the Candy Kingdom. Finn was surprisingly calm about sailing, considering Jake's bottle of medical alternatives. Bubblegum's pregnancy was still kept a secret.

When they reached the palace, Peppermint Butler greeted them at the door.

"Why isn't he in chains?" he said, pointing at Jay.

"Because," Jay pulled out the ring and said, "I'm going to propose to Bonnibel." He put the ring back in his pocket, "Where is she anyway?"

Peppermint Butler looked doubtful, but answered, "She's in her bedroom, crying."

Jay ran ahead to Bubblegum's room. When he reached her door, he knocked. She yelled, "Go away!" from behind her door and resumed her sobbing. Jay sighed, and he turned the doorknob to open her door. She was lying on her stomach on her bed, and crying into her pillow; but she turned over to see her baby-daddy in the doorway. Jay walked over to her, and she got up from her bed and wiped her eyes. With a sudden, cat-like motion, she slapped him across his right cheek.

"Why are you here?" she sniffled. "Where did you go?"

"I went back to the Jellyjam Kingdom. As for why I'm here now," Jay knelt down on one knee and pulled out the ring. Bubblegum gasped. Jay continued, "I'm here to ask you to marry me." Bubblegum was speechless and unresponsive to all. "Bonny? Bon-Bon, are you okay? Nothing. Jay decided to try another approach. He stood up and kissed the princess. She blinked, smiled and said, "Yes."


	3. Ch 3: Pink Wedding

**Chapter Three – "Pink Wedding"**

The kingdom was jubilant for the couple, but then everyone was thrown into chaos and panic. The wedding, although no one outside the knowing seven knew why, had to happen before Bubblegum began to show, giving the honeymoon a reason for her pregnancy. And since it was going to be a wedding between a prince and a princess, it deserves nothing less than the royal treatment. Finn and Jake volunteered to be Bubblegum's wedding planners, but they were overwhelmed by the amount of time and energy they had to spend and the amount of Bubblegum's yelling they had to endure. Eventually, they got their heads straight and back on track. They had to neglect some of their heroic duties for the wedding. Some princesses were kidnapped and goblin-folk eaten, but it was all for the sake of P.B.'s wedding. The wedding was decided to happen within a month of Jay's proposal.

After two weeks, it was time to decide the players of the ceremony, other than the bride and groom. Jay only wanted a best man, but Bubblegum wanted multiple bridesmaids. So, they compromised and decided to have multiple bridesmaids and groomsmen, three each to be exact. Jay asked Finn and Jake to be two of his groomsmen. "I don't know if I can," Finn said, "I'm giving Peebles away." Jay said that it can be worked out so Finn could do both. Finn agreed to do the job, as did Jake. Jay asked Starchy to be his third, who also agreed.

Bubblegum, meanwhile, had to choose two of her three. L.S.P. was guaranteed a bridesmaid position in exchange for keeping quiet about the pregnancy. Lady was an obvious bridesmaid choice, considering her and P.B.'s friendship; and she wanted to give her last bridesmaid position to Marceline. Over the past two years, Bubblegum and Marceline developed a close girl-friendship, ever since they had a weird experience with some bath salts.

"Please, Marcy, do it for me," Bubblegum pleaded while at Marceline's house. Marceline was reluctant about the idea of being a bridesmaid. "Please, Marcy, it would really mean a lot to me."

Marceline sighed, "Fine, I'll be a bridesmaid."

Bubblegum smiled and hugged her, saying, "Thanks. You won't regret this, Marcy!"

Marceline hugged her back, "So, when will I get to meet your prince?"

"Uhh…"

Finn and Jake had been busy making their own plans for the wedding as well. They had to dig out and wash their fancy clothes, which have not been worn since the stormy night in the haunted castle. As for their dates, Jake of course was going with Lady and the kids. Finn wanted to go with Flame Princess, but she refused and did not give a reason why not.

"So, what are you going to do?" Jake asked Finn when Finn came home and told him.

"Well, I asked Marceline if I could go with her, since we'll eventually sit by each other and such. She said it would be alright."

"So, you're going to a _wedding_ with _Marceline_?"

"Yep."

"Do you see the irony?"

"Yep."

"And how this is couples'-only movie-night all over again?"

"Yep."

Jake nodded his head and squinted, "No tongue?"

"No tongue."

"I'm sure there'll be tongue."

The wedding was finally here, without delay or incident, which caused more concern. Everyone and everything was ready just in time. The flowers—red and pink roses and carnations—were already cut and arranged into beautiful bouquets. The bridesmaid dresses—pink with open shoulder sleeves, a lace-backing, and a grasping at the knees—were fitted each bridesmaid, even L.S.P. The ceremony was taking place in the palace's throne room, and the reception was to be held in the ballroom.

Finn was at Marceline's, getting dressed into his tuxedo. He spent the night there and was now in the living room (ironic how an undead being like Marceline would have a living room), standing infront of a full-body mirror and trying to tie his bow tie. Finn only saw himself in the mirror and jumped when he heard, "Do you not know how to tie a bow tie?" from behind him. Finn turned around to see Marceline in her bridesmaid dress, unlaced and held up by her left forearm wrapping itself around the front of her stomach, and wearing ruby red high heels. Finn blushed as Marceline walked over to him. With her free hand, she grabbed Finn's, one at a time, and placed them on her sides. "Here, hold this dress up," she said. Finn's cheeks grew redder. With newly freed hands, she swiftly tied Finn's tie. When she was done, she took over holding the dress with left forearm, turned her back to Finn, and held her hair aside with her right hand.

"Now, tie this dress!" she demanded "I hate this dress!"

"Why?" Finn asked, lacing the back.

"I hate pink!"

"Don't think of it as pink, think of it as lightish red."

"Great, now I'm hungry!" Marceline yelled as Finn finished the knot. She then flew to the kitchen for a snack. "So, tell me why didn't your girlfriend want to go to the wedding with you?" she yelled from the kitchen.

Finn sat on her hard couch, "I don't know; she didn't tell me." Marceline came back into the living room and tossed one of her two apples to Finn. "We've been drifting apart lately, and I'm getting worried about losing her." Finn took a bite of his apple after polishing against his arm.\

"You shouldn't worry, Finn," Marceline said, "As a relationship grows the people in it will seem to drift apart; but in reality, they're still really close. You just need to spice things up a little bit."

Finn smiled, "Thanks, Marcy."

"It's only over when your boyfriend sells your most favorite thing in the world—to a witch," Marceline said before sucking the dark shade of red from the apple.

Marceline, carrying Finn, flew to the Candy Kingdom for the wedding, which was supposed to start in two hours. Luckily, it was a cloudy day for Marceline. Just outside the palace was Jake, Lady, and their two little pupicorns, Jake Jr. and Maria. When Finn and Marceline landed, Jake Jr. and Maria ran up to them, yelling, "Aunt Marcy! Uncle Finn!"

Jake Jr. and Maria were only a couple of years old, but they could speak in full sentences in both English and Korean. They were two feet tall and weighed about thirty-five pounds. They were twins, virtually alike only in appearance. They had their father's jowls, paws, ears, and golden yellow fur for the top half of their bodies; and they had their mother's horn, blonde mane and tail, and rainbow coloring on the bottom half of their bodies. The only visual difference between them, other than the lime green bow Maria often wore around her horn, was the coloring of their bellies: Jake Jr.'s was baby blue and Maria's was carnation pink. Neither of them had any of their parent's powers, at least not yet. Jake Jr. was much like his father, with an eye, and love, for girls. He had a crush on Marceline until he was four. His sister, however, was much more mature than him even though Jake Jr. was born a few minutes before her. She took a major interest in Rainicorn history and the sciences, and she often played an assistant to Princess Bubblegum and the princess's experiments. Lady had pushed Maria to learn to play the viola from Jake and proved to be quite good. Jake Jr. was instrumentally interested only in anything Marceline played. As for their sibling relationship, it was typical, one usually annoying the other.

Finn and Marceline hugged the little pupicorns, Jake Jr. squeezing Marceline as much as he could. He was dressed in a black tuxedo, and Maria wore a dress that had three different tiers of different shades of green. She also wore her lime green bow, and her mane was tied up into an impish ponytail. Both pupicorns were barefoot. Jake was wearing his tuxedo, and Lady wore her bridesmaid dress, which went up a ways on her lengthy body.

The six went inside to see what havoc was being wrecked by the citizens upon themselves. The hallways were decorated with small bundles of flowers and ribbon, all pink, making the palace look more elegant than usual. Candy people rushed around, making sure everything was perfect for their princess.

The group decided to split up: Finn and Jake went to Jay's room while the girls, Marceline followed by Jake Jr., went to Bubblegum's. As they went their ways, the clicking from Marceline's voluptuous red heels echoed through the halls.

Finn and Jake had made their way through the controlled chaos of the decorators to Jay's room. When Finn and Jake entered the room, Jay was tying his tie.

Jay turned around, "Hey, guys," Jay said, "I'm glad you're here."

"Has anything gone wrong?" Finn asked.

"Not that I know of."

"OH MY GLOB!" the candy princess yelled in her bedroom's adjoining bathroom. She was wearing a bathrobe that was a dark pink color. Marceline was lying on Bubblegum's bed, and Lady was coiled up on the floor. L.S.P. was not here yet. Maria was braced against her mother; and Jake Jr. laid against Marceline on the bed, using her stomach as his personal pillow. He and his sister were asleep until Bubblegum yelled. Lady told the kids to stay with their father and Uncle Finn. They left as Bubblegum stomped out of the bathroom with her dress in hand.

"What's wrong?" Marceline asked, propping herself up with her arms.

"My dress is ripped!" Bubblegum held up her dress. The top-half was identical to the bridesmaid dresses, minus the laced back. The bottom-half looked more like a ballroom gown, long and voluminous, with lateral pale rose ruffles. Princess Bubblegum folded the dress to show a tear in the seam on the right side.

"Oh, that's nothing," Marceline said, "get me some thread and a needle, and I can sew it back together."

"You know how to sew?" Bubblegum asked.

"I'm a thousand years old, Bonnibel, I've had plenty of time to learn how."

Minutes later, Marceline was sewing the dress while Bubblegum waited.

"(Are you nervous about getting married?)" Lady asked.

"No, I'm not nervous," P.B. answered.

"(Why not?)"

"Because this is something I have to do." Bubblegum said, placing her hand on her stomach.

"Done!" Marceline said, showing the freshly re-sewn dress to the princess. The princess complimented the seamstress' excellent sewing and ran into the bathroom to put it on.

Jake Jr. and Maria were running through the palace hallways, almost knocking into Chocoberry. They had gone to their father as their mother requested, then Dad and Uncle Finn had to talk about something adult, so Jake told Jake Jr. and Maria to go play. They turned a corner and burst into the first door on the left, one of Bubblegum's labs. Jake Jr. was amazed by the multiples of colorful chemicals. He grabbed a test tube with a clear liquid inside and a rubber stopper on top.

"I wouldn't play with that," Maria said. She pretty much knew the labs like the back of her hand, sorry, paw.

"What is it?"

"Hydrochloric acid."

"Translate that from geek-speak, and?"

Maria sighed, "It's an acid strong enough to burn a hole through your paw." Jake Jr. raised his brows, looking back and forth between the tube and his sister. He then gently put the tube back. Suddenly, Jake Jr. had an idea.

"Hey, do you know how to make a love potion?" Jake Jr. asked.

"I know how to make chemical that, when ingested, can trigger a feeling of love or euphoria upon seeing or being near a specific person."

"Yeah, whatever. Can you do it?"

"Why?" Maria asked in suspicion.

"Curious."

"You want to give it to Aunt Marcy, don't you?"

Jake Jr. began to blush, "No! Shut up!"

Maria sighed again, "Fine, I'll do it." She quickly bustled around the lab, grabbing her supplies: test tubes, Bunsen burners, chemicals, rubber stoppers, glass straws, and beakers. She then settled herself and began her work. She grabbed an empty beaker and poured green, blue, and purple liquids into it. She stirred the mixture with a glass stirring rod. The concoction turned into a maroon color and began to bubble. Quickly, Maria poured it into a test tube. She put a stopper onto it with a coiling glass straw leading into a large flask. Maria heated the tube with a burner, and a goldenrod gas was produced and began to fill the flask.

"What's that?" Jake Jr. asked about the flask-filling gas.

"A deadly gas, it needs to condense before we can open that flask."

The liquid inside the vile changed into a death black color. Maria stopped the distilling and set the tube inside a test tube rack.

"Hold your breath," she commanded her brother. He did so, and Maria quickly swapped the flask's stopper with a stopper without a hole. Maria took a breath and looked at her brother, who was still holding his breath. His face was beginning to turn blue. "You can breathe now."

Maria grabbed a pair of tweezers, "Okay, now I need a piece of your hair."

"What? Why?"

"So the potion will cause Aunt Marcy to be in love with _you_." Maria grabbed a piece of Jake Jr.'s combed mane. Jake Jr. gritted his teeth as she plucked a piece of hair. Maria dropped it into the test tube, and the potion fizzled into a rose red. A heart-shaped cloud of pink smoke puffed itself from the potion. Maria put a stopper on it.

"Here, your 'Love Potion No. 9' is finished." Jake Jr. grabbed the vile.

"What do I do, get her to drink it?" Jake Jr. asked.

"Yep."

Suddenly, the lab's door swung open, and their father stepped inside.

"Kids!" he yelled, running over to them, "You shouldn't be playing with this stuff. You'll get hurt." Jake grabbed the potion from Jake Jr. and put it in a test tube rack. "Come on, kids, it's about time to completely ruin two people's lives forever." Jake then grabbed the kids and dragged them out of the lab. Jake Jr. never saw nor held any love potion ever again.

The ceremony soon began. L.S.P. arrived within minutes of when she was supposed to walk down the aisle with Starchy, which caused Bubblegum to nearly lose her mind. She arrived with her date, Brad (yeah, they're back together). Everyone took their seats. Jake Jr. had to sit alone in the front right pew because not only was his father a groomsmen and mother a bridesmaid, but his sister was the flower girl. Peppermint Butler, the wedding's officiator, stood at the altar, facing the aisle. Flowers and ribbons covered most of the walls and the sides of the pews. Soon, Starchy and L.S.P. walked down the aisle and parted to the sides: Starchy to Peppermint Butler's left and L.S.P. to his right. Then Finn and Marceline, Jake and Lady, and Jay followed. Finn snuck out through a door to the side. Everyone geared their eyes to the throne room's entrance. Tree Trunks manned the piano, playing the Wedding March as Princess Bubblegum, in her dress and pink veil, strutted up the aisle with Finn, her escort. Before the stairs to the altar, they stopped. Bubblegum put her right hand on Finn's left shoulder. "Thanks, Finn," she said before kissing him on the cheek. Finn smiled and blushed. Bubblegum stepped up to the altar and faced Jay while Finn walked up and stood between Jake to his right and Starchy on his right.

The ruining of lives, as Jake would put it, had begun. Bubblegum and Jay had exchanged their vows, and Peppermint Butler reached the part where he says, "And if there is anyone who has any reason why these two should not be together, speak now or forever hold your peace." With perfect timing, the sound of stained glass breaking and shattering echoed throughout the room. Finn and Jake looked toward the back of the room where the window was and the saw the Ice King fly through the broken window.

"Ice King!" Finn and Jake yelled together.

Jake turned to Finn, "Oh, Glob, we forgot about him! He's been so inactive lately!"

"Ice King, why are you here?" Finn loudly and angrily asked.

"It's quite simple, my bosom: I'm here to marry the princess and kill this home-wrecking prince," the Ice King answered. Gasps from the guests filled the air. The Ice King's fingertips glowed from his crown's power. In a quick thought, Finn grabbed a bundle of flowers that tied to a nearby pew. He and Jake ran toward the Ice King, who was shooting ice beams at them. Jake dodged the beams, but Finn threw his flowers into the beams. Upon contact, they were magically encased in ice. Finn jumped and flip-kicked the icy flowers at the Ice King. The ice connected with his forehead, knocking out the Ice King. He plummeted to the floor, where Jake tied him up with ribbon and stuffed him into an empty closet.

The wedding continued without another incident, ending with a tender kiss between husband and wife. Everyone then went to the ballroom for the reception. The seating arrangements were simple: the bride, groom, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and their plus-ones would be seated at Table One, which was the table closest to the band (Marceline said it felt weird hearing a band rather than playing in one), and everyone else—princesses, candy citizens, and dates—would be seated at the other fourteen tables. About half an hour between the serving of dinner and dessert, the tossing of the bouquet and garter belt was starting.

A crowd of women gathered on the dance floor. Bubblegum, with her back to the estrogen cloud, blindly tossed the bouquet into it. The bouquet flew through the air, gravity pulling it down, until it was caught by a gray hand, Marceline's hand. She flew off the dance floor to the side. The crowd of women walked off the dance floor and the men walked on. Jake pulled Finn onto the dance floor. Standing amongst the crowd, Finn held a vertical advantage over everyone else. Bubblegum took off the garter (Jay was in the restroom, and Bubblegum didn't want to postpone it). "I'm not going to catch it," Finn said. P.B. threw it, and the garter soared toward Finn and Jake. As it neared, everyone tried to jump for it. With perfect timing, Jake grabbed Finn's arm and held it up in time for the belt to land on it. Jake whispered into Finn's ear, "You're welcome, bro," and pushed him in Marceline's direction. Finn turned around to Jake and mouthed, "I hate you." He turned back to Marceline, who was sitting provocatively on a table. She beckoned Finn with right index finger. Finn despairingly sighed. He walked over to her, and she lifted her legs. Finn's cheeks began to show a red shady enough Marceline could eat. He took the garter and put it over Marceline's right red high-heel. Finn could feel everyone digging their eyes into the back of his head, and he could hear Jake mischievously chuckling. Finn slowly slid the garter up Marceline's calf, and past her knee. Finn's cheeks grew redder every inch he pushed the belt up Marceline's leg. He slid it up to the middle of Marceline's thigh and quickly retracted his clammy hands

"Thanks, Finn." Marceline said, kissing Finn on the cheek before flying off. Jake walked over to Finn's side.

"Dude, I swear to Glob, if you ever do that to me again, I will kill you in your sleep, dismember your corpse, and spread the pieces among the Candy, Fire, Ice, Cloud, and Goblin Kingdoms."

"Come on, bro, I know you enjoyed that," Jake responded.

"That is beside the point."

A few minutes later, the wedding cake and desserts were brought out. The wedding cake was a three-tier festival of descending angel-devil-angel foods completely covered in two shades of pink vanilla frosting—carnation pink and bubblegum pink. Buds of light pink frosting flowers formed a circle around the base cake. Hand-crafted figures of Bubblegum and Jay stood on top. There were many subsidiary desserts: lushes, cookies, brownies, and, Jake's favorite, Tree Trunk's apple pies. Even after the cake was cut and some smeared on the couples' faces, Jake continued to get pie, piece after piece.

Jake was on his sixth piece when Finn asked, "Dude, don't you think you've had enough pie?"

"Mmm, no way, man," Jake said with his mouth full. He swallowed, "You know how much I love Tree Trunk's pies."

"(I bet you love my peach pie more, don't you?)" Lady asked. Jake choked on some pie, but he eventually got it down.

Finn leaned in to Jake, "Hey, what'd she say?"

"You don't wanna know, dude."

"Dad," Jake Jr. was behind his father without Jake knowing so. The tyke appeared to be confused about something.

"Yeah, J.J.?" Jake picked up his son and placed him on his lap.

"What did Mom mean by her 'peach pie?' Mom has never made peach pie." Finn finally knew what Lady said.

"Well, I, um, y-your mother, um…" Jake did not want to discuss this with his son. Suddenly, Jake had an idea. "Hey, how about you go dance with Aunt Marcy?" Marceline's head turned to Jake.

Jake Jr. lit up, "Really?"

"Sure! Right, Aunt Marcy?" Jake looked over to Marceline and winked mischievously.

Marceline smiled, "Yeah, why not?" She got up from her seat, took Jake Jr.'s paw, and led him onto the dance floor.

Bubblegum and Jay managed to sneak away from the mass of people and into the public men's restroom in the hallway outside the ballroom. The restroom seemed to be empty.

"Well, now that we're alone," Bubblegum said, smiling. They kissed, and it had a hint of French in it. Bubblegum jumped up and wrapped her legs around Jay. Jay, holding his wife, backed into an open stall, and began the consummation.

About half an hour later, the couple came out of the restroom. Bubblegum attempted to fix her messed-up hair. Seconds later, Finn came out of the same restroom with a horrified look on his face. He walked to his seat, much like a pre-programmed robot, and sat down beside Marceline.

"Finn, what's wrong?" Marceline asked concerned.

"I don't want to talk about it." Finn reached over and grabbed Marceline's glass of champagne and chugged it all.

"Finn, you're not old enough to drink!" Marceline said. But for some reason, she did not try to stop him.

"I don't care," Finn said, grabbing and consuming Jake's glass of champagne.

Finn continued stealing drinks and even a full bottle of wine. After a while, Finn achieved his first alcoholic blackout.


End file.
